evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just high enough for therapy.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
