They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
We need to rekindle our bromance
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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