yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize