You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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