the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He has the fingertips of a God
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