I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Randomize
