Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
