Apparently you make a good broom.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
