i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
