in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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