chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
