THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Randomize
