did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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