Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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