My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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