I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
