I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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