never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
