he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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