Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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