I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
