It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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