I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
