dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
