i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
