normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
