i don't like sucking hair
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
My breasts were aching with rage.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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