I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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