But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
