Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
