At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
