I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize