i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
