Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
