It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
