I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
