it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize