coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
