Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
