so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
