3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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