The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
