how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize