So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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