no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
