part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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