dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize