It's Friday. Sex?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
