my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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