hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
