There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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