i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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