Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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