marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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