it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
