Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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