sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
