there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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