My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
