And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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