Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
