You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
