God, you're like boner-b-gone
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
