There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
